Anxiety Bug

February 13th, 2007

I've been hit by the anxiety bug. Weird stuff and it's kept me silent here this week. There's been some things keeping me busy, such as graduation on Sunday (hooray!), a visit from my dad, open houses, and such. But in general I've been too distracted to sit still and type. Anyways, I'm trying to break out of this rut. Anxiety, I'm not sure why, I'm suspecting it has a bit to do with impending changes ahead which has my head all buzzy and busy, and knowing I'm working 24/7 starting tomorrow through the weekend (boss is going on vaca) and I'll also have my youngest brother with me (mom and step-dad on vaca).

Graduation was overwhelming. Parts of it were wonderful, parts of it were stressful. There were too many people and too much small talk, totally burned me out. I was glad we did our saying good-byes and closing the week before because the day of graduation felt very disjointed to me.

The past few days, my anxiety has manifested in sleeping very poorly (can't fall asleep or stay asleep) and doing weird things like obsessively picking lint. Yep, lint. I don't even know. Our couch is a magnet for something like lint, a combo of my hair and cat fur that gets stuck together. I like to find it between the couch cushions. A lot. And sometimes I like to pull lint out of the dryer vent. I'll stick my hand in there to get the stuff out, sometimes using a sewing needle to get at the spots my fingers won't fit. Today after a half hour of dryer vent cleaning I realized I'd stripped a bit of skin off my hand between my fingers in my very odd quest for lint. I get an odd sense of enjoyment out of lint collecting, go figure, but I recognize that it's kind of weird and unnecessary and a symptom of feeling anxious. There's something about it that reminds me of binge eating, which I used to do years ago to numb myself out. Lint collecting is far better than binge eating, that's for sure. Ok, enough about lint. This is probably why I haven't written much this week!

Anyways, I've been doing a few things to try and positively sit with the things that have been stressing me out. I've been meditating in front of a candle after work, I've been doodling with no purpose in mind, keeping my list of what I'm grateful for each day, and saying affirmations.

I haven't been able to keep up with CaC at all. There's too much! But I remembered the photo challenge from Krista last month about candlelight and I wanted to play with my new camera and try to get some cool shots. I really liked the way some of them came out.

7 Responses

great closeups! must be a wonderful camera – mine tends to fuzz out (or maybe that was just the batteries giving up). Candles sound good. You can always use the lint in a collage….so then you aren’t being anxious, you’re collecting art supplies….

ever thought about SAD (seasonal affected disorder)? Are you getting snow? Is something pressing hard to be born?

Maybe we should have an ugly picture contest….

I was just thinking about how many blogs I’ve been to recently where people are on a downswing, a sad moment, an overwhelmed space. It feels like a shift in the planets where we’re all needing to take a breathe and found our footing.

I hope you find some ease, Leah, and that the anxiety dissipates quickly, at least before the lint runs out. ((hugs))

Love your photos – if you’d like some distance healing aimed at reducing your stress levels just ask.

I’ve been a little anxious myself – and others I know, too. Weird energy the last few days – and now Mercury retrograde is probably in the mix as well…
The candle photos glow with such a lovely light. I have a candle holder very similar to that – a gift from a friend – though ours doesn’t hang (I like how yours dangles like a star).

Congratulations on your graduation, Leah! Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day, too – and that all will go well for you during these times of transition. (hug)

It’s most definitely not just you, Leah. There is indeed a strange shift occurring…after such a hugely positive, energetic start to the year I am suddenly exhausted and feel incapable of anything! I hope it helps to know that you’re not alone with your feelings.. I’m looking forward to ‘Finding Water’ along with you soon. Love the pictures, and the lantern! Beautiful :) Big, Warm Hugs & lots of Love coming your way ((((xXx)))) Suze xXx

That is a very pretty picture.

I have to ask you something- (i know I should email this, but I am lazy and this is faster)

I am creating a flier to advertise the program that I work for. It is a education and support service to families when someone in the family is experiencing psychosis. I was wondering if you would let me use your masthead art as a sidebar picture in the flier?

I love all that is going on in it, and to some degree I think it reflects the over-stimulation of the human experience of psychosis.

What do you say?

These photos are just so cool. I really like the angles, and I feel they match this post’s topic, anxiety, perfectly, too.

As for anxiety, me too, me too — what a yucky week. Perhaps it’s in the stars?

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