Finding Water in a Tank

April 7th, 2007

Some warm water, in the form of our little tank. It's SO fun to watch. Mesmerizing.

Fun synchronicity. After I wrote the post at Finding Water today, I finished reading the chapter in the book and there were 2 quotes (p. 182) that spoke directly to the sort of thing I was talking about with the art I made in the last post. There's the element of surprise:

Surprise is where creativity comes in.
-Ray Bradbury

And the way I uncover my subconscious thoughts in a more gentle manner through art:

Art attracts us only by what it reveals of our most secret self.
-Jean-Luc Godard

Hehe. I love little synchronicities such as this. I randomly found a green pen to underline and circle things, to write in the margins and doodle as I read this chapter. Now looking back at it, I think it's very spring like and pretty. I'm feeling a little more light green (like a plant budding in spring) today. I took the passages on self-care to heart, by taking a much needed shower, using my favorite shampoo, shaving my legs, putting on warm jammies, and making cocoa to sit and watch some comedy. Lewis Black on Broadway. He says something like, "Winter was great this year...if you were a moose! If you had f***in fur on your balls, it was a f***in festival!" Bwahah!

There's this bit in the chapter about fear of success and the fear that people will find out we're no good, that we're imposters. It sounds so silly, but this is a very real fear for me. I wrote in the margins, "is this so common?"

Hmm, well, I'm off to play with crayons. Here are some more fun fishy photos. :-)

Hermitcrab

Fishtankclowns

19 Responses

I think the fear you talk about is probably quite common and I guess it just means developing confidence and taking risks. Thanks for the ‘Nemo’ pics.

I had the fear that I was an impostor throughout working at HP – and used to reassure myself on the basis that I’d passed their incredibly hard tests to get in… but it was a shallow reassurance.

I think becoming an authentic person is about facing all those fears inside us – about who we are, who others might think we are, etc. Sometimes what we fear is just a fear – and once faced shrinks to nothingness, other times it is a message and won’t go away so easily – for instance in my case I really needed to leave HP well before I got ill working there.

I’d write morning pages about the fear if I were you – find out if its one with some sort of message – it may be or it may not – but if it is it will be worth heeding.

I’ve added that blog too then Leah ;) ( I like the other one ,it’s very interesting to read and inspiring:)

oh how I wish to have an aquarium! it’s beautiful and soothing to look at these creatures:)
maybe I’ll have problem with my kitty ;)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mademoisellehelenina/249188299/in/set-72157594317693336/

ahah ;)

beautiful quotes!
I like when art can surprise me, that I can have another brand new gaze on myself!
I sometimes wish I could see myself as I really am
but most of the time I oscilliate between anger and frustration facing my so called limits or resistance or then being silly enthusiastic due to the fact I receive praise and congratulations from other

I’d like objectivity,honesty.temperance too!
but oh well I’m a passionate so how will I change this?

“There’s this bit in the chapter about fear of success and the fear that people will find out we’re no good, that we’re imposters.”

I’m not reading the book but yes I guess most artists share this fear.

that’s why I still haven’t dare to give an exhibition of my art.
I’m searching information about it slowly ,shyly but I just fear people say ” well it’s cheap art, or it’s too childish( if they can sense and understand my philosophy of life sharing in it)

and I watch other artist in every kind of art,some do weird and “childish things”but they get an audience, they touch a public, some people can find something quite interesting in their work.

I think in spite of my doubts that some people will be intrigued by my work and will question about it
I also am aware some will laugh or downplay it, that’s just normal

I am not frida kalho,I dont paint like mucha or klimt,I’m not that big but does it make the art inferior,less art,less interesting?

I guess we have to think about what is art,what is it meant to ,made for etc

I think it’s art when you name it art, and you’re an artist if you think ,feel and live this in your guts, the rest is just pollution of self doubts, wrong beliefs etc

knowing it all doesn’t help much, but we can go on in spite of it:)

blessings***

Leah– Hmm. I just e-mailed you something that fits in perfectly for this post. Talk about synchronicity! Wow.

Helene– What you wrote touched my heart. Thank you. “Imposter” holds a very fearful court in my psyche as well. Your words helped immensely.

Just so totally love this tank – especially the clown fish. Forever Nemo and Marlin in our house due to the movie ‘Finding Nemo’.

I’m also convinced that I will be mocked and riddiculed for being an Imposter – that “they” will find me out any day now… not a nice feeling. How does one get past that I wonder? Can you ever, or do you just learn to ‘manage’ it?

As the character “Dory” said in ‘Finding Nemo’ – “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…”
((Hugs to you.))
Lizzi

Yes, it is VERY common…the impostor syndrome. It’s not just found in artists but in people in all walks of life. Thank you so much for the photos of the hermit crab and beautiful clown fish.

Oh leah, your fish tank is absolutely beautiful! i have a new appreciation for them now that my husband got a tank. we are just “beginners” when it comes to fish…so yours take my breath away! it is amazing how soothing they are to watch…and entertaining too!

i’ve missed you. even though i haven’t been commenting much on your blog, i’ve been thinking about you LOTS! i just want you to know that. i’m sending lots of big love (and an email soon). :)

{{{{{hug}}}}}
j.

Leah,
Question, How close are you to Lowell? There is a Collage exhibit at a gallery there Called Paste-up, Ayer Lofts Gallery. I have three piece in the show. I didn’t realize you were in Massachuestts. The gal that is curating the show has a studio in Woburn. Karen Bettencourt Gray Cat Studio 21 Brentwood Road, Woburn. Well just thought you might be close to it.

~v~

Great post both here and over at FW. I loved your questions and as you know, your art really spoke to me with the gorgeous orange and the blue girl. I struggle with admitting that I’m depressed and always talk negatively to myself in the throes…..’snap out of it’. ‘what have you got to be depressed about’ and on. I loved checking in here and finding your words – they inspire me Leah and comfort because I know I’m not alone.
Enjoy your week! xo

hi, leah!

i haven’t been commenting much either. but i have been here – i’ll get back in the swing of things soon.
your aquarium is just lovely. :)

my cats would find some way of getting in there, though, if i succumbed and got one. lol

hi, leah!

i haven’t been commenting much either. but i have been here – i’ll get back in the swing of things soon.
your aquarium is just lovely. :)

my cats would find some way of getting in there, though, if i succumbed and got one. lol

Great pics and great explorations! You know, I think it is really common that people are worried that others will find out they are “imposters.” In my life and work, I see how often people think they haven’t done enough to be worthy of attention or praise no matter how much they’ve done! Maybe they’ve created great art but they haven’t had a show. Maybe they’ve written a book but they haven’t made the bestseller list. We so often think we need to be or do “more” when in fact we are truly magnificent and worthy of celebration just as we are.

In answer to your question – “yes, unfortunately it is so common.” Myself included. But I think the difference may lie in whether you just can’t help making art anyway, even when you feel like an imposter. But only a real artist would ponder this, then go off to play with crayons…

The aquarium is so much fun – I love the photo of the little crabby guy.

The fish tank is so cool. Thank you for sharing pictures.

I did pay attention to what makes me laugh. My husband. Who Knew? I always thought his sense of humor was too dry for me, but I realized (from payng attention) that I laugh out loud at stuff he says and does all the time.

I also laugh at posts from my blogging friends all the time. I caught myself since your post laughing inside and out.

Thank you!

This is why I love doing my morning pages. Whatever inner critic naming me an imposter is a non-entity.
I don’t have to prove anything with morning pages.
I simply write.
I love your self-care ritual…and I love the Nemo fish!

We don’t have space for an aquarium (we talked about it when we first moved here). I’d settle for just a goldfish in a bowl…there’s something so soothing about that silent movement…

How inspiring that you are reading Finding Water now. I think Cameron is such an amazing spirit. I really enjoy following your musings here and on the Finding Water blog.

xo,

Karen Beth :)

I love your tank.
Growing up we had one and my Mom would rock me to sleep while I gazed over her shoulder at the fish.

Pretty little fishies! Love them. I could imagine just how relaxing it must be to sit and watch them.
Is it common? Yes ma’am. I’ve been avoiding my journal and I think that’s adding to my crappy feelings.
Your Spring Thaw piece is just beautiful.

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