Entries from: April 2007
Finding Water in a Tank
April 7th, 2007, Comments (19)
Some warm water, in the form of our little tank. It's SO fun to watch. Mesmerizing.
Fun synchronicity. After I wrote the post at Finding Water today, I finished reading the chapter in the book and there were 2 quotes (p. 182) that spoke directly to the sort of thing I was talking about with the art I made in the last post. There's the element of surprise:
Surprise is where creativity comes in.
-Ray Bradbury
And the way I uncover my subconscious thoughts in a more gentle manner through art:
Art attracts us only by what it reveals of our most secret self.
-Jean-Luc Godard
Hehe. I love little synchronicities such as this. I randomly found a green pen to underline and circle things, to write in the margins and doodle as I read this chapter. Now looking back at it, I think it's very spring like and pretty. I'm feeling a little more light green (like a plant budding in spring) today. I took the passages on self-care to heart, by taking a much needed shower, using my favorite shampoo, shaving my legs, putting on warm jammies, and making cocoa to sit and watch some comedy. Lewis Black on Broadway. He says something like, "Winter was great this year...if you were a moose! If you had f***in fur on your balls, it was a f***in festival!" Bwahah!
There's this bit in the chapter about fear of success and the fear that people will find out we're no good, that we're imposters. It sounds so silly, but this is a very real fear for me. I wrote in the margins, "is this so common?"
Hmm, well, I'm off to play with crayons. Here are some more fun fishy photos. 
Spring Thaw
April 6th, 2007, Comments (14)
Blah, blah, blarg. Feeling a bit blargy the past couple days. Stopping in to say, hey, I made art! I'm working on another piece too, but it's not done yet. This one was inspired by a doodle I did yesterday. I drew it a bit bigger on a sheet of watercolor paper and painted it with acylics. I'm calling it "Spring Thaw." It certainly doesn't feel like spring in New England, but hopefully soon.
Today was a good example of how your mood really doesn't matter. At the very least, I feel a sense of accomplishment for creating. I have been feeling inspired, just a little quiet and slow. Happy week of Easter and Passover to those celebrating those holidays. Hope your weekend is a lovely one!
I Love to Laugh
April 4th, 2007, Comments (14)
Sasha, Emma, and Sadie photoshopped by the fiansor to make me laugh.
I think everyone reading along with Finding Water is hoping Julia Cameron will come out her depression soon! I've been able to take what's helpful and leave the rest, but it is a bit of a bummer to follow her dark struggles at times. I tend to be susceptible to the energy of people around me, but I've been working on maintaining better boundaries, so mostly it has been fine. I've noted that she does a lot of the same things I do when I feel low, like searching for the child-like joy (her exercise with children's books) and laughter (the divining rod about watching funny movies) and I've enjoyed those things. I do hope Cameron comes out of this funk before the book ends, but if not, well, then I'm just very glad I'm not in that place and I'll continue to take what's helpful in the book and leave the rest behind. Actually, that's been a helpful attitude for me to take towards most things. Some of the things that have been helpful thus far have been the mp's , noticing the things about where I live that I love just when I was starting to get sick of it, reminding me of what I have accomplished, more ways to be grateful, and reminders of ways to perk myself up with laughter and child's play.
It's super gray and chilly here in New England. Kind of depressing weather. I found myself in a fog yesterday for most of the day, but I felt much brighter today despite the grayness outside. The apartment is clean, I've got clean laundry, we have a gorgeous new saltwater tank in the house (a little 14 gallon biodome with a a little world inside it...so relaxing to watch!), and I've been loving life. The weekend with the fiansor was just awesome. Sunday we had a day with no plans and we turned it into a rediculously fun day with loads of adventures, including open houses, lots of laughter, and the purchase of previously mentioned aquarium.
I love to laugh. Love it. And I laugh loudly. For such a little person (I'm about 5 feet and a half inch), I've been known to surprise people with the power of my laugh. Laughter is good for your body. I feel it and know it in my bones. I think that's why the fiansor is such a great partner for me. He has an amazingly quick wit, a goofy sense of humor and the great ability to make people laugh. After meeting me for the first time, one of the fiansor's good friends said, "Dude, she's perfect for you. She thinks everything you say is funny!" And I guess that's true. He cracks me up all the time and in turn the fiansor loves to make me laugh. It brightens his day. My family has noticed this too. He makes them all laugh of course, but they've noticed how good he is for me, how I can tend towards melancholy and he helps me to find the funny no matter where we are. I have that goofy sense of humor in me, sometimes it just needs some encouraging to come out of its shell.
I want to encourage you to laugh too. I think it's perfectly fine to laugh when no one else is there to hear. The cats make me laugh quite a bit and the funny, teeny, green crab with his hairy arms that lives in our tank has made me laugh and laugh every time I see him. I love good stand up comedy. With Comcast's On Demand, I sometimes find comics I've never heard of and then there are the ones I know already that I love to hear, such as Sarah Silverman, C.K. Lewis, Chris Rock, Margaret Cho, Dane Cook, Paula Poundstone, George Carlin, Lewis Black, Dave Chapelle, Carlos Mencia, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, Robin Williams, and many others...For links to lots of comedians go here. You can probably find links to lots of YouTube clips of them there if you want. If you have a dvr, it's great to record some shows you like. It cuts down on pointless t.v. watching and allows you to fast forward through commercials (just awesome!) I don't tape all of these, but they're all great shows that make me laugh: Ugly Betty, 30 Rock, The Office, Reno 911, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Mind of Mencia. I'm especially adoring 30 Rock and Ugly Betty at the moment. Heh, I just remembered that song from Mary Poppins, "I love to laugh." Teehee!
There's also a chapter in The Red Book about how vital laughter is to the soul and how important it is to see that the Universe has a sense of humor. Yes, there can even be humor in the Divine.
I was feeling a bit bummed about the artist's studio space yesterday. This new space could potentially be wonderful. Great space, lovely light, great location. However, it's not finished and there are a lot of ifs hanging in the air. I don't know if it will come together and it's out of my hands. So, again, I need to let go of expectations and know that whatever happens, it will be fine and I'll end up in the right place for me.
In the meantime, I need to re-focus on my web-site design and that commission that I'm working on. Back to work! I'm feeling inspired by lots of things, including encaustic painting, which I'm itching to try. My creativity has been tuned to website design and designing our save the dates (which I finished last night and need to be sent to the printer to make magnets. they're so cute!), but I'm itching to get my hands dirty with paint and glue. So much I want to do! It's a great feeling though.
