Mother’s Day

May 13th, 2007

Today I went to visit my dad briefly in the morning. I dropped off my flowers for my step-mom who was at her son's gravesite (he died of an aneurysm, 8 years ago at the end of this month). This is an awful time of year for her and she doesn't usually like to visit with us (her step-kids) and I totally understand, but I bring flowers by anyways. My brother and I sat with my dad and checked out his new prius that he bought after seeing An Inconvenient Truth. Really cool car.

At my mom's, my step-dad cooked on the grill, my grandparents and my step-dad's mom were there along with my two brothers and sister. I've mentioned before that my grandmother has alzheimer's disease. She's at the stage where there is very, very little of her left. My grandpa is still sharp as a tack, but I can see it's taking a toll on him. The decline was fairly gradual, but at this point, she's not really there anymore. Lately, my mom has been having a lot of issues with her memory. At first it was just the usual stuff, but it's gotten a lot worse lately. It could be a number of things, it might not be alzheimer's, but I know it's on her mind as a possibility and she's scared. Last week she asked if I'd go in with her if she made an appointment to get some testing. I said of course.

Of course it's crossed my mind as well. Today we talked about it a little more after my grandma left. I've wanted to put on a strong face around her, but tonight, after dinner, I mentioned it to the fiansor and I just broke down. I'm so scared. I can't stand the thought of losing her in this way. It breaks my heart. I mean, there are other things that could be affecting her short term memory, but I know it's genetic. My insides are torn to shreds. I'm crying typing this. I was hoping to feel some release in typing it out as that sometimes helps. I don't know. Please send some positive thoughts out there for my mom and me. Thanks.

19 Responses

*hugs* I’m sending those positive thoughts for you and your Mom, Leah. Please try not to worry for now, because as you said, there are other things which it might be…

I know how the unknown can sometimes feel worse than actually knowing what is wrong, though, so you and your family are in my thoughts. It’s so good that your Mom asked you to support her as she goes in for testing. It takes courage to face questions like that.

Lots of love to you.
xo Amy

Leah – First, and most importantly, a big hug and a love to you.
I KNOW this is hard to do, but try to stay in THE NOW. The future is full of what if-s and scary stories … FEAR. Another thing I have learned along the way … and get reminded of frequently when I lose sight of it: “Why worry? PRAY … or (the other choice:) Why pray? WORRY.” My father is 93 years old and has Alzheimer’s – the sweetheart. God Bless him. As difficult as it is for me, I just do the best I can when I am with him to let him know how much he is loved. Because ultimately, “Love is all you need.” Prayers for you, your mother, and family.

Leah, it’s good you let that tension out with the tears and acknowledged your fear. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to bring yourself back to the present. It might be, but it might not be. It’s wonderful that your mother has reached out to you this way. You get to face things one day at a time…together. I’ll be thinking of you.

Oh Leah… *giving you a huge hug* You will DEFINATELY be in my thoughts and prayers.

Also, the new meds they have out for Alzheimers help TREMENDOUSLY. Make sure to encourage your mom to get tested early, because if it IS Alzheimers, the earlier the medicines can be started, the more they will help her. And if it’s NOT Alzheimers, you all will feel a million tons of relief, and sleep MUCH better at night!

I’m so sorry to hear this today, dear. Of course I will keep you and your Mother in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on everything. Hugs to you today… xo…

{{biggest hugs}} I do agree with your friends here. It´s a positive step you are taking going for testing and it´s great that you are there for your mom. Thinking of you.

My leah!!!

I am sending every bit of positive energy I have your way.


Many positive thoughts and much love to you and to your mom, Leah.

Know too, that memory loss can be many things at mid-life, including hormonal problems (related to being menopausal—she may need tweaking to hormone replacement) and I hope that she has something like this, instead of Alzheimer’s, especially since she is younger. And if she is afraid of Alzheimer’s the fear is going to exacerbate the problems. I really hope that this is what it is…

Again, will be thinking and praying for you two, Love,

Awwww Leah..(((((BIG HUG!)))))
It must be so scary for you. But remember that MANY things are genetic…it doesn’t mean it’s a sure thing. It simply means that if it does come to be, the origin of it can be found in the genes.
You are very strong to be accompanying your mom for these tests. I’ve lost both my parents to cancer and I know the courage it takes to sort of “switch roles” with them….You being the strong, reassuring one and your mom leaning on you. I think it’s a great idea to have these tests as a slight memory loss as you age is perfectly normal and very common.
Sending positive vibes to you and your mom…hoping everything will be fine!

Dear Leah,
My heart is with you. Wishing you courage and strength so that you can support your Mother through these times.

Sending mass quantities of them good vibes your way darlin’ … xo D

dear leah, i know we’ve only emailed once, but i just wanted to say i’ll be thinking about you and praying for you. i know what it’s like to be powerless over fear, powerless over what is going to happen, and especially with someone you love so dearly. sending you strength and hugs!

I shall be thinking of you and your Mom
loving strong thoughts:)

All my thoughts are with you.
You are strong and courageous and your mother is so lucky to have your love and support.

Sending love-Tori

Oh, a bittersweet day, huh? I have had relatives with Alzheimers, too and it is just so hard to live with. I am so sorry.

Oh I can only imagine how worried and scared you feel. My thoughts and prayers are with you (((Leah))). xo

I’m running behind on reading here…sorry I wasn’t here sooner to send white light and good wishes.
You know, it’s the places that scare us the worst that hold our greatest lessons – and they aren’t always bad or sad. That you and your Mom will go together to the appointments is so wonderful – and brave. Both of you. It’s better to pull it out in the light to see what exactly it is you’re dealing with than to battle shadows. My heart is with you.

You know I’m thinking of both you and your mother. It runs in my family too, so I know how fearful it can be. But I also know (as a psychology graduate) that short-term memory can be altered or affected by a vast array of issues. It could be a simple as a thyroid problem, or even if it is Alzheimer’s, catching it early can do wonders. All you can do is hope for the best and understand that no matter what, you will be strong enough to get through it.

Hugs to you, love…

I am – unfortunately late in responding here – in my own little (as in tiny) spin cycle – I wish you well and your Mom – life has its cycles – and things don’t always go as we might wish – but there is always the witness and the resultant lesson – this – (as I remove my shirt due to a menopausal hot flash – see what I mean? – minor – yes – but an example of life outside of our control) we can count on and bless or curse as suits our needs and situation

in love and light

xox – eb.

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