Entries from: May 2007


May 12th, 2007, Comments (7)

So, as we finish up Finding Water, I'm feeling the need to re-connect with myself. The sun wiped me out a bit, but I think my self-care level wasn't that great either. So, I'm turning to the diving rod that I wrote in the margins of the book...a list of things that make me feel seen and spoiled.
1. Go to Walden Pond and have a picnic in the shade.
2. Take a bubble bath.
3. Watch a movie and make art in bed.
4. Lather myself in yummy smelling lotions and burn yummy smelling candles.
5. Ice in a glass with a drink (I did this this week! Simple and small, but a little luxury.)
6. Fresh flowers.
7. Go to the museum and get an audio tour.
8. Walk in the city and take pictures.
9. Get a glass teapot for blooming tea.
10. Buy pretty new underwear. Teehee.

I'm going to do some of these this week.

As for set aside dreams, the only one I can think of is writing and illustrating a children's book. There are various fears around this and a feeling of not knowing where to begin. But I'm going to go the baby steps route and just start.

I've got some exciting news! I will be facilitating an in-person Artist's Way group at the Wish Studio in Beverly, MA this summer! I'm super excited about sharing this wonderful book with others. I hope to also lead an intuitive collage workshop there in the future too.

My dream life is coming together. Wild. Scary. Exhilirating.

I think there's a part of me that feels that I don't deserve this, a part of me that is self-sabotaging. Perhaps the added self-care will help me conquer that nasty inner critic or at least quiet it.

I like having goals. They help me focus. So, inspired by Jamie and Karen, I've been working on a 101 things in 1001 days list. It's just starting and it's still in paper form. I wonder as I make it if I'm setting my sights to high. But I figure it's better to try, to stretch a bit. Besides, I *love* crossing things off of lists. I'll sometimes put things on a list just to cross them off. It's so oddly satisfying! So, while I work on that list, here's another list. A meme that I saw at Carla's.

Are your parents married or divorced?

Divorced. And they've both re-married and are much happier. And they can be civil with eachother now too. Thank goodness.

Do you believe in heaven?
No. Not in the kingdom in the clouds sense.

Have you ever come close to dying?
Somewhat. Due to an illness as a child, my kidneys were infected and stopped growing. But I had surgery and saved them, although one is smaller than the other.

What jewelery do you wear 24/7?
My engagement ring.

Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Of course! I had some tonight! When I was a kid we called them the trunks of the trees.

Do you wear makeup?
Very, very rarely. If anything it might be mascara.

Would you ever have plastic surgery?
I don't think so.

What do you wear to bed?
sometimes silly pajamas with penguins all over them, sometimes a big t-shirt.

Have you ever done anything illegal?
Of course. :-)

Can you roll your tongue?

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
The fiansor. We've been together 6 years now and our wedding is in October. I love him to pieces.

Do you believe in abortions?

What is your hair colour?
Brown with some highlights.

Future child’s name, boy and girl?
Alexander (Alex) for a boy I think. Not sure on the girl's name. Maybe Sophie?

Do you smoke?

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
Hawaii, Amsterdam, Australia, Greece, etc...

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
no, I have four fuzzy living animals, most of whom will sleep in the bed from time to time, my kitties (Sadie, Emma, Sasha, and Tabbers). Emma sleeps next to me every night. She's a snuggle-bug.

If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
I'd buy us a beautiful home with a gorgeous studio space and then I'd take my family on vacation.

Gold or Silver?

Hamburger or hot dog?

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Gosh. I don't know. Maybe ice cream. :-)

City, beach or country?
Like Carla, I need all three.

What was the last thing you touched?
My laptop keyboard

When’s the last time you cried?
About a month ago I think.

What colour are your pants?
I'm wearing hot pink addidas shorts with white stripes down the side. I don't usually wear any pink, but these shorts are cool.

Ever been involved with the police?

What’s your favourite shampoo/conditioner and soap?
Aveda Shampure shampoo/conditioner and Ivory soap or something handmade

Do you talk in your sleep?

Ocean or pool?
Depends. I could go either way for swimming, but I'd rather sit by the ocean than the pool.

What’s your favourite song at the moment?
Um, almost anything by Damien Rice or Ray LaMontagne are making me happy at the moment, but they're kinda depressing...so the Scissor Sisters help me brighten up.

Have you ever had a cavity?

Window seat or aisle seats?
Window seat. I love looking out.

Ever met anyone famous?
I met Michael Dukakis and had my picture in the paper when my best friend and I won a poster contest about litter in the 7th grade. And I met George Clooney and some of the other actors of the Perfect Storm. My mom's first boyfriend does water special effects and he set it up so I could be on the set for a day. I worked in Gloucester (where it was filmed) at the time. I was on one of the boats while they shot a scene (not in the shot) and between takes, I stuck my tongue out at George Clooney (who was on the dock) and made him laugh. He's very tall!

Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
Successful? Oh, I don't know. Ask me at the end of it. I've led a wonderful life thus far.

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Cut. When I twirl it gets too big for my mouth.

Are you self-conscious?

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yes, unfortunately. I'd like to never do it again.

Last gift you received?
A Bed Bath & Beyond gift card

What occasion did you receive your gift?
Engagement gift in the mail from someone I've never met.

Last thing you spent lots of money on?
Incorporating myself as a business.

Where do you live?
Just west of Boston, MA.

Last wedding attended?
My best friend's wedding on a lake in NH. I was a co-maid of honor. It was lovely.

Favourite restaurant?
Blue Ginger, Ming Tsai's awesome restaurant.

What is your favourite kind of car?
I like Mini Coopers

What’s your least favourite chore(s)?
You name it. ha! I don't like vacuuming.

Favourite drink?
Lime seltzer, Coca Cola, Lemonade, Constant Comment tea with milk and sugar

Phew! I'm listed out! Art comin' soon. Have a great weekend everyone! And to all the mom's out there, a very happy momma's day to you!! I all the bloggin' mamas I know. How do you do it? You rock!

In the Cave

May 11th, 2007, Comments (2)

I've been in such a fog this week. Monday and Tuesday were spent obsessively poured over the website in order to get it out to someone who will help get the main pages coded for me. Wednesday, I decided to take a little break. I sent some art off at the post office and then got a frapuccino and sat by the river with a magazine and my journal. I think I was in the sun a bit too long because I got a bit dizzy and felt ill and needed to lay down in the dark. Sometimes too much intense heat without cooling off in the water or something, just has a bad effect on me. I get ill and/or break out in heat rashes. Wednesday felt like kind of a lost day because I got so zonked out by the sun. I had trouble sleeping Wednesday night and Thursday I still felt a bit off. I did get some things done, including dropping off that commission below (they love it!) Last night, I had trouble sleeping too and today I still feel a little funky. I decided to go to one of my favorite local cafes. I've been putting together the wording for my save the dates. The magnets came in and look so cute. I'll post a pic when they're done...hopefully before the invites need to go out!!

I realize I haven't been posting. I've been reading and occasionally commenting and thinking oh, I'll post later, and days pass, but in general I just feel quiet. That's ok. I feel a bit like my kitty Tabbers when he decided to stuff himself into this little kitty house. He just barely fit, it was too cute, but the look on his face reminded me of how I've been feeling this week. This funk or whatever will pass. I know this. I need to make some art. Mmhmm. Back later with some thoughts about Finding Water.   

Speaking of Time

May 9th, 2007, Comments (7)

Something about this just hit me in the gut (in a good way) and I wanted to share. There's this project looking for its home called Aluna. It would be this beautiful structure and would also be the first tidal powered moon clock. I can't quite get my words around why this is so inspiring to me. Perhaps it's the moon-child (cancer) in me or my femaleness resonating strongly with the curves and cycles or just the idea of something so grand measuring time by the moon. I'll have to think on it more. (Got the link from Rob Brezsny's newsletter.)

I'll write tomorrow (or later today..erg.) Today was intense and busy (also in a good way) and I finally got up the post that's been in my head for the Finding Water blog. We're finishing up the last week of the book. Ok, right, need to wind down and find sleepy town. Oh, it's a marvelous night for a moondance...

Time Flies, Geese Fly, Fly, Fly

May 7th, 2007, Comments (13)

Art above, "Geese Flying Over", is 8"x10" with collage, acrylic and pencil. I might still work on this a bit, but here it is for now.

Time seems to be moving much faster than I am these days. I'm just barely keeping up with myself. Thursday, I met with a good friend who is far more business minded than I and we made plans to check in with eachother regularly regarding our our personal business goals. I'm thrilled to have her support in this way. We sat down at first to chat about my business ideas and goals and so I could pick her brain about business ideas. We originally made plans to do this way back in the beginning of Finding Water when it was suggested as an exercise and I'd been thinking about it anyways, but you know, time flies...so, we finally got a chance to sit down and talk about this for a few hours and I got to hear about some of the exciting business ideas she has brewing. One thing I love about this friend, is that she thinks big, real big, way bigger than I would naturally. She was talking about Christmas cards and how I could get them printed and she asked if I knew how I would do this. I said oh, sure, I could just print them on my printer because I have a really nice one. And she says, well, I mean, at the company I used to work for, we'd order 3,000 invitations at a time, so you'd probably need to work with a printer for that. Sounds silly, but I wasn't thinking in that way at all. I was thinking I could print out 50 cards and bring them around to little shops to sell. And of course, I could do that, but why not go big? The fiansor thinks big also. I need to broaden my idea of what's possible.

The past few days have been busy, busy. Friday, I met with my mom for lunch and she tried on dresses for my wedding. Then the fiansor and I attended a surprise birthday party. Saturday we took a rediculously long walk (we always get a bit too ambitious on the way out, but this time we went too far and we were dragging ourselves home.) And then went to a late night screening of Spiderman 3 at the fancy theater (leather seats, unlimited popcorn and soda, 21+). Sunday, as soon as I got up, I was gathering my things to head out to an Open Studios event in Somerville. I usually ask a friend along, but I decided to go alone this time to make it my artist's date and so I could really just do as I pleased. I barely scratched the surface of all the art to be seen at this event, but I saw a lot of great art, met some really cool artists, collected business cards and postcards (great for ideas), signed up on artist's mailing lists, and felt so inspired. I also felt so exhausted after all that walking and talking and socializing. This was definitely the most socially packed week I've had in awhile.

The website is coming along. I had to do some major changes to the design (arg) and tomorrow I'll be sending off some screen shots to someone who will help me with the coding to get me started. I still have some big decisions to make in regards to how I want to do printing. I have some short term solutions and some of it will be trial and error, but I get easily overwhelmed by all the possibilities and options. I need to just keep taking the next right step.

And then there's Finding Water which is ending this week and I can hardly believe it. Time...yeah, I've said that already...So, I wanted to post my answers to the divining rod from last week (p243):
-Have you reorganized your living space? Yes a little bit. I rearranged my studio a bit to make it work better for me. I still have so much to reorganize.
-Have you thrown anything away? Yes, definitely threw a lot out. Again, I have so much more to go.
-Has your sense of color shifted? Yes, I've been drawn to oranges, a new one for me.
-Has your relationship to music shifted? Not that I'm aware of.
-Do you find yourself being more plainspoken? Yes, actually, I do! It's kind of funny now that I think of it. I've been more willing to say what I mean instead of dancing around it.
-Have there been any shifts in your intimate relationship? No.
-Have you experienced any difference in your energy? No, it fluctuates a lot, but that's pretty normal for me .
-Have you experienced any weight gain or loss? Maybe a little gain? Not sure.
-Have you relinquished or seriously thought about relinquishing any other "bad" habit? Yes, I've seriously considered cutting coca-cola out of my life. For now, I'm just cutting back.
-Are you conscious of having more choices in your daily life? Interesting question and yes, I definitely am. I feel more relaxed about all the daily choices as well.
-Has your relationship to a Higher Power altered? Yes.
-Are you more comfortable with your spirituality? Yes, I feel more connected.
-Is it more a fact of your everyday life? Yes, certainly.

I've felt more drawn to nature and I've been more willing to make choices that will help to soothe me. I'll write more about the final chapter in the FW blog soon.

Spring is Springy

May 2nd, 2007, Comments (19)

I feel like I've got a little extra bounce in my step this week. Feels lovely. I'm aware that spring is in the air. In fact, when I looked up yesterday I happened to get a good view of two birds doin it. It wasn't pretty, but there it is...birds and the bees and all that. This is the time of year for it. It's not just spring for the animals and the plants, blooming in true growth spurt fashion, it's also spring for humans. I mean, gosh, I can't tell you how many people in my life are pregnant and then there are many blog friends who are pregnant too...babies, babies, everywhere! And then today, I walked down to the nearby river to do some outdoor journaling and soon after I sat down a young man (oh, dear I sound old saying that!) parked his bike in the grass and sat nearby to watch the river, drink a coke and listen to his ipod...and he kept looking at me and smiling. I could feel him looking at me which made me look up and I smiled back. Who knows, maybe I had bird poo in my hair, but it felt flirtatious to me and I wanted to say, "honey, I know I look like much like you in sloppy teenager gear, but I'm way too old for you." Hah! Then, walking home, some creepy middle aged guy in a truck said something to me. I didn't hear what he said, just someone talking and I turned to see him smiling in a creepy way before he drove off. Blech. Probably better that I didn't hear what he had to say.

Here's another piece from the workshop. This piece, "Memory Tree" was done  in encaustic (heated wax) with wax transfers and a bit of oil stick on 12"x12" cradled clayboard. I loved doing the transfers on wax as it was so much easier than the other types I've tried. The wax set up is quite a process though, so I'm not sure how much of it I'll do in the near future. Encaustic medium is a combination of heated wax with damar crystals (which help the wax to adhere.) Here's a cool link with pics and descriptions of the process that says it better than I could. After laying down some wax and fusing it (heating it with a heat gun), I was able to do three transfers (photocopied images of a brain and one of a shadow), Then I layered on some more wax, fused and let it cool. Then I had loads of fun scraping into the wax to create the tree and using oil sticks to add some color.

When I was doing this piece, I was thinking about memory and Alzheimers disease (which my grandmother suffers from). I was thinking about how the brain's pathways often remind me of the branches of a tree.

Before my walk, I checked my mail and was super excited to see a package from Nikki (from the CaC journal swap). I took it with me down to the river and opened it there. It is so beautiful! I can't believe this is her first altered book! I'll have to take a picture of it later on, but in the meantime, I saw Nikki has some pics up on her page. Thank you Nikki, I really love it! And I'll be using it for morning pages.

Speaking of CaC, today is Getting to Know You Day and I decided to play along.  We are asked to share what book, movie, and song changed us and changed how we thought about the medium. This is so tough! Why did I decide to play along? Ok, so let's see...Book, I think I'll go with Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins. I read this book when I was really struggling with spiritual issues of my own and he said so many of the things I was thinking about in such a brilliant and humorous way. After reading his book, my eyes were opened to many authors out there who wrote in a witty and intelligent way that really suited me in a way that all the books I'd read previously had not. For music, I think I'll go with Soul Coughing...something about the layering of the music and sounds hit me in a new and profound way. It's like musical collage, so I guess it's no wonder I love it so much! Oh wait, that's not a song...ah well. Movie, gosh, I'm having trouble with this one. I love movies, but, well, ok, I'll go with Psycho. My god, that movie scared the ever-living-crap out of me when I first saw it at the age of 11. And it wasn't really the visuals that scared me the most, but the music. That was the first time I realized how important the music is in a movie. I could block my eyes and still be scared to death by the soundtrack. I had to go upstairs after awhile cause I got too freaked out. haha! As for it changing my life, no, it didn't do that, but I definitely never looked at (or listened to) movies the same way again.

Buzz, Buzz

May 1st, 2007, Comments (10)

I've been a busy bee today and life is good. Yesterday, I was slammed by a migraine that destroyed most of my day. Partly, I think I was just recovering from a very social (for me) weekend. But today, I felt much better and the day seemed to go so smoothly. It felt good.

The weekend mixed media workshop was great. I got to play and meet some great people. I loved the teacher. She was so supportive and down to earth. Just to have met her was worth it. Yes, I've done a lot of mixed media work before, but I still learned a ton. Like the way she applied matte medium with a palette knife was awesome! I learned another way to do transfers, I got an intro to encaustics (transfers on wax are awesome!) and I made art on a piece of birch plywood for the first time which was very cool.

This piece, "Between Spaces", was made on  a thick canvas, 12"x16". It was made fairly quickly, just intuitively putting it together with paint and collage elements. At the end, the teacher said, she liked the combination of wide open spaces with smaller enclosed spaces. When she said that, I was reminded of a project I did in school trying to represent my love of both small enclosed spaces (like the little boxes I collect) and wide open spaces (like the ocean) that make me feel a sense of the sublime. I couldn't really get the idea across then, but this does gets it across. She said she also liked small containers and wide open spaces and this is why she responded to it. This piece also makes me think of the textures of home, the textures of a family. I'll share more art later in the week. I think I want to keep working on a couple of them.

I got to dance a bit with the fiansor tonight (very silly jumping around kind of dancing) for Jamie's virtual dance event. It's always good to start off the month with some dancing. :-) I'm looking forward to a happy-dancing-kind-of-month.