No, No, No

August 27th, 2007

...nothing gives me that
sinking feeling quicker than
that split second when i
in my head at the same time
i hear my my mouth saying yes...

-from Marilyn's August 26th poem

My mind is all over the place. Marilyn's poem of the day from yesterday struck a chord with me or something more like a resounding gong. It makes me a little sad that it seems so hard for me to say no sometimes. This fear of hurting people's feelings at the expense of my own feelings, safety, and well-being is upsetting. Last week I said yes to something when I wanted to say no and while it all worked out o.k., it was not the right decision. I let the possibility of hurting someone's feelings overpower my gut instincts and I put myself in an uncomfortable and risky situation. I'm embarrassed about it now, but it has made it more clear to me than ever that I need to stick up for myself, say what I mean, and say no way more often.

I'm procrastinating a bit. My studio is a ridiculous sight to behold right now, like a tornado blew through it. Overwhelm central. O.k., so, I'm taking stock and taking into consideration Jessie's interesting combination of techniques for listing 5 things I'll do and 5 things the Universe will provide. Then I'm going to take some baby steps towards my goals for the day.

Art from today and yesterday to be posted later on. Toodaloo to you!

8 Responses

Oh, I know that feeling, Leah. Last week I made a decision against my gut too, and it became apparent very quickily! Luckily we are learning creatures. Next time let’s trust our instincts. I’m glad that your situation turned out all right, despite the discomfort and risk. And I’m wishing for your safety, joy, happiness and success! May it come easily and clearly :)

I have the same problem about saying no to people. I frequently end up getting myself into situations that I’m not happy about and my only recourse is to silently berate myself for taking on something I knew I shouldn’t have. One uncomfortable thing about learning to say NO, I’ve found, is that when I do (because I’m so not used to it) I end up feeling guilty and selfish. However, I think it’s important to speak for yourself, it might seem selfish but we all NEED to concentrate on our own journey from time to time.

Sometimes it is so hard to just be ourselves even though this is our natural state.

I am trying to let Ethan and Maggie really listen to their inner guidence system, which is difficult to do when I want them to listen to me!

Did you finish Wicked?

I really liked it…so much more of a story than I expected!

loved hearing you had a wonderful shower…your subway series is unbelievable! so rich and soulful. i’m sure you will have a great show! and your invitations are gor-ge-ous. lucky guests :) deep breathing sweets. it will all be o.k. xo

Leah, I have a MUCH easier time saying no since I read about the 2-1-1 method of saying no. You sandwich your no between 3 positives. For example, your friend invites you to do X with her. You know you will have a miserable time if you agree to X. She enjoys X and you don’t. You don’t want to hurt her feelings. So you use two positives followed by the no, followed by another positive. Example:

Oh, how sweet of you to think of me. I really want to see you soon, but I’ll pass on X. What about Y with me on Wednesday instead?

I have found that this works brilliantly. Sometimes you have to get pretty creative in order to find those three positives without fibbing, but so far I have always been able to find the 3 positives. And so far I have had very good results in that the other person seemed to take my declining very well.

Mmmm … 5 things I’ll do and 5 things the Universe will provide; LOVE that. (just say “NO” to doing it all alone!) :) D

Thanks for sharing Jessie’s post on 5 things…I love “the Universe will” part – haven’t thought of that one before – and I need it right now. This very instant. So of course it arrived courtesy of you. Thanks!

Hey Leah~ I call those lists the: Me & “U” list. I keep one posted on my fridge and I only give the Universe things to do that I have no clue how to do. I try to do the minutia instead.

I hear your ACK and raise you an UGH.

Can’t wait for next week. And hey, that’s a nice painting!


Post a Comment