Creative Every Day

Mawage, Sweet Mawage…

September 25th, 2007

In all this wedding mania, sometimes it's easy to forget why I'm making myself so crazy over what is essentially a big party. So why this big, romantic, event? Why the public declaration? Why the fuss and muss? I hope this helps to explain.

I'm not the mushiest person you'll ever meet (except when it comes to babies (human babies, kittens, puppies, etc...). I'm not quick to shower a person with compliments or dole out hugs with abandon. It's just not how I was raised. It's not that I don't care, it's simply through my life experiences I've learned that it was safer to keep one's emotions tucked away, to remain calm and neutral. I've had to learn and practice how to be more outwardly affectionate, to express my gratitude and love. I learned much of this from the fiansor. And sometimes it's not so much that I've learned from him, but that he's encouraged me to grow.

I met the fiansor over six years ago. I was looking for a room to rent and he was looking for a roommate for his apartment. I answered his roommate ad online and we talked on the phone. I'll never forget that first conversation. I remember where I was and what we talked about. I remember how we instantly clicked, how our sense of humor matched up, and how we both laughed easily. I didn't take the room, but a month later he sent me an instant message saying that he was sorry I didn't take the room. We started talking and talking online for hours and then on the phone for longer and then he asked me out for drinks. On our first date we sat in a cute little pub and drank kamikaze shots (of all things) and talked. Then he sat with me for at least an hour outside while I sobered up. Among the highlights of our second date, were our first kiss and a long walk and talk that I totally loved. We held hands walking down a city street and he told me about his dreams and goals and I was hooked. On top of all that he loved my cats and had a cat of his own and he had the most beautiful eyes.

We've come a long way from where we started.  There were times when things got rocky, but I know we're more in love and stronger all the time. The fiansor is a wellspring of creativity. He has encouraged me to see my weaknesses as strengths and to expand the idea of what I think is possible. From me he's learned more patience and a quieter way of communicating (not everyone likes to talk as loud as they do in NYC!) Together we work at understanding each other. We're both quite different and have enjoyed learning more about what makes the other tick. We've even read books (or he's read pieces of them and I share highlights of the rest, as he can't sit still for long!) about introversion and extroversion and Myers-Briggs. The more we understand about each other the better we are as people and as a couple, much like Megan has written about recently. We're a work in progress and that's a beautiful thing. Being engaged has really hit home the sense that we're a team now and we've really grown in the last year and a half in learning how to work together as a unit, to look out for each other, and move forward together.

So, all that to say, that despite my various bursts of excitement about wedding shoes or complaints about rsvp's, we're both still taking time to remember what this nuttiness is all about, our commitment to each other, a celebration of our love, and the beginning of a new family. And I'm just thrilled to pieces about it.

Above: The fiansor and I at the end of my bridal shower when he came to make an appearance and got to check out the cowgirl hat and bouquet decorated  with ribbons from my gifts by my talented sister-in-law. Hehe. Oh, and by the way, I was careful to only break two ribbons, so only two kids for me!

 

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