Work in Progress
February 26th, 2008
I'm feeling like a serious work in progress today. I mean, we're always a work in progress are we not? But today I had to face where I'm fighting reality. I've read Byron Katie call it "trying to make a cat bark." I've struggled with depression for most of my life and yet I fight this constantly. I don't accept it. I miss taking my medication and feel awful for days. It's silly. I've come off medication in a safe way before, but I end up needing to go back to it. It's time for me to stop forgetting my medication. If I want to stop taking it, I have to address that and do it with the help of a doctor. And if I'm going to accept the chemical imbalance, then I need to stop worrying about what other people think, and start loving myself the way that I am. The winter is a tough season anyway and I'm looking forward to sunnier days.
This morning I was feeling the blues, but with a few adjustments, I found some energy in the afternoon and got back to work on a painting and did some printing for art that needs to get out to buyers. Here's a peek into my studio and some of the things I'm working on.
8 Responses
Sigh! I am currently going through SSRI withdrawl, attempting to transition to alternative depression management techniques because of a 40 pound weight gain in less than 5 months. I wish you better days, Leah. xxoo, O
Posted by: Olivia | Feb 27, 2008 at 2:20 am |
It is always fun to peek into an artist’s studio! Thank you for sharing that with me today.
Here is one thing I can say to you, for sure, do what you have to do to be the best Leah you can be! The only person you have to answer to is yourself and if that means taking your medication then by all means do so. If it means something else, then do that. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, what matters is what you KNOW! To me, it sounds as though you are on a positive path! Hang in there!
If you are interested in taking another “peek”, I have done my first artist conversation on my blog. Visit and be introduced to a lovely woman! Maybe it will be a pleasant break out of your busy day trying to get those paintings done.
Peace!
Posted by: Kim | Feb 27, 2008 at 8:52 am |
I have a chemical imbalance that causes anxiety attacks, which can be a bit dibilitating and make my world quite small at times. BUT I’ve come to accept it, take the meds I need and try and remind myself it could be a lot worse. Thanks for the peek in the studio and hang in there and have a Happy Wednesday!
Posted by: bluejude | Feb 27, 2008 at 10:46 am |
I have also struggled with this all my life and wasted a lot of my preciously short life feeling like I didn’t want to play anymore. Some alternative therapies can help, and they don’t play havoc with your system like drugs can.
Nice studio. The painting you are working on promises to be another beautiful one.
Posted by: Susan | Feb 27, 2008 at 1:17 pm |
Like the others I hear you! I think we all need to find our best coping mechanisms and post them where we won’t forget them. I started a painting yesterday that did wonders for lifting my mood (especially after hearing media reports on the latest group of studies that pokes holes in antidepressant effectiveness — sigh).
Posted by: andrea | Feb 27, 2008 at 2:04 pm |
87% of the time, I accept my chemical imbalance and realize that I need to be on medication to function properly. The other 13% of the time, I’m lost at sea. I think we all go through the cycle of accepting our issues, coping with them, choosing not to cope with them, feeling awful, then returning to helpful coping measures. it’s the cycle of life for a depressed person.
Posted by: she | Feb 27, 2008 at 2:45 pm |
I heard on a Teleseminar that artists and all creatives are prone to depression and anxiety disorders. What I found interesting is that he said whenever we have to make a choice, even if it’s as mundane as choosing what to eat for breakfast- we have a bit of stress. Artists are constantly making choices and these choices put us under a lot of stress.
The rest of the recording was about giving us an extra tool for coping. I really enjoyed it, plus it’s free. It’s called “Avoiding Art Career Overwhelm With 10 Zen Seconds.” Of course, it can’t fix everything. It was just nice to hear how “normal” depression and anxiety are, plus get some extra help. Here’s the link, if you’re interested. http://www.artbizcoach.com/classes/maisel.html
Posted by: Shayla | Feb 27, 2008 at 3:24 pm |
Leah, you sure do accomplish a lot for a person who battles depression! When I’m feeling low (I’m not clinically depressed, but I go through sadder seasons), I usually do not get anything done. I just procrastinate and have anxiety about it.
So kudos to you for taking action!
Posted by: Sarah | Feb 27, 2008 at 4:54 pm |