Creative Every Day

Entries from: May 2008

Creative Every Day: May 12th – May 18th, 2008

May 12th, 2008, Comments (13)

Happy Mother’s Day

May 11th, 2008, Comments (1)

Quick note to say, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! I'm heading out to see my mom shortly. Yesterday was busy and productive. I hope your weekend has been a fun and creative one!

Courage to Walk the Line

May 9th, 2008, Comments (7)

I've seen this traveling around the blog world, but didn't stop to watch it til yesterday on Rebecca's blog. It inspired me so much that I had to share. Gotta love that she just kept going even when she "failed."

Killing Yourself Over and Over Again

May 8th, 2008, Comments (17)

Drawn with markers in my journal last night. this is actually the back of the page I drew. I like the way the bleeding markers look on the reverse side.

I'm listening to Martha Beck's Steering By Starlight on my ipod (thank you to Christine Kane for the recommendation.) It's really great and has me thinking, laughing, processing, and pondering some more.

In one part, Beck tells the story of a client who is so depressed and fed up with his life that he's contemplating suicide. Her response is, "You'll definitely have to commit suicide to be free...In fact, ideally, you'll do it all the time. Not physically. Mentally." She goes on to explain how a person can live a vital life by regularly killing (in a sort of suicide) their conceptualized self. In other words, by regularly freeing yourself of the stories you cling to, you can free yourself from those self-imposed limitations.

I was particularly struck by this part of the book. Possibly because I've had my own brush with suicide. But also because this kind of death (of old beliefs) is one that keeps coming up for me over the last couple years.

There have been two memorable times in my life where I had a temporary, but freeing experience with the death of my stories. The first was when my step-brother died. He was only 23 years old and his death was sudden and unexpected. The night before he'd been at my sister's softball game. He went out for pizza with his friends before retiring back to the apartment he shared with a close pal. During the night he died of a brain aneurysm.

There had been a couple other deaths in my family that same year, one was expected and the other wasn't, but there's something particularly shocking about the death of someone so young and seemingly full of life. After the funeral, I remember everything seeming so surreal, more vivid and clear. Within a few weeks, I had ended a five year long relationship (that I had been agonizing over whether or not to end for the last year) and I quit the job that was making me miserable. Getting this stark reminder of how fragile and fleeting life is was like a bucket of cold water being splashed in my face. It woke me up. I recognized that I had the choice to live a life that made me happy or stick with whatever was bringing me down because I felt there was no way out.

The second time I experienced an inner death/rebirth was when I hit my lowest point with depression and was contemplating suicide. It had been crossing my mind for awhile, but when I actually made the decision, something shifted within me and again, everything became surreal and especially vivid. I saw my then therapist who directed me to the hospital where I checked myself in. And from there, I was able to reevaluate my life in a more objective way. I was able to ask for help, admit I was struggling, and get myself out of situations that seemed impossible to get out of, even though they really weren't. In my head, my stories about disappointing others, failing, etc, were just that - stories. And when it came down to it, the stories didn't mean much. This time around, I put in my notice at another job that seemed prestigious to me and related to my degree, but was no longer serving me, and I found a job that paid twice as much, was much less stressful, and allowed me time to heal and do what I love (make art). I also left the apartment that was too expensive, but I thought I couldn't break the lease (I found a subletter), consolidated my debts so I could afford the monthly payments, and moved to another apartment (which led me to meet the hubster.) And I also got some help from friends and family and re-connected with people I love.

Both of these turning point moments were brought about by extremes. Sometimes you can get to a shift like this without the low point. I remember at one point in my twenties imagining if I had a year to live what I would want to do. And then I did those things (spent more time with family, took a trip to the Caribbean, ran a marathon.) But lately it feels harder to get myself to that place of letting go of the story so I can get on with living. I try and do it in the small ways...I get present when spending time with my cats, really feeling their fur, noticing their movements, fully loving their every breath. Or on a walk when my mind goes still and the grandness of a tree puts me in a state of awe. Or when I'm dancing across the kitchen floor for no other reason than pure joy.

I suppose it doesn't all have to be about extremes, moving, leaving, huge life changes. But I also sense that there's something, some story holding me back right now and I'd like to put that fairy tale to bed. So, how do you get to the stories and let them go without the death and drama?

In my efforts to let go of defining beliefs, I look for inspiration in the writing of people like Patti Digh, whose blog is about just this sort of thing...in her case it's about living as if you had 37 days left. I find glimpses in the writing of Eckhart Tolle. And I write and I paint and I talk with loved ones, which often gets me closer. How do you get in touch with that part of you that grasps at your stories? And how do you lovingly help it release its grip?

Penelope in Progress and Crafty Goodness

May 7th, 2008, Comments (12)

Today I felt really good. I got some exercise in, got some random tasks accomplished, did a little painting, and a little soul searching. The weather was fabulous too! This is a painting I'm working on. I think it's 20"x20". I started out by doing a couple magazine transfers with Golden's soft gel gloss. The transfers never come out perfect, but I kinda like that. I've never put a face image on a painting like this, but I liked the length in her neck, so I'm going to paint over the image to some degree to keep the shape, but make it my own. I've been experimenting with mixing paint with the gloss medium as well which has been fun. It makes the drying time longer, which is sometimes frustrating for me because I like to work fast. But I also like the glazes and thickness you can get.

With the bigger canvases, it takes me longer to finish a piece (duh!) , so I figured you might like to see a work in progress. The colors made me think of summer and Greece  and as the piece developed, the woman became Penelope, the title became, "Penelope's Web." Now, things could change. The direction of a painting often changes mid-stream. I like to give it the opportunity to do that. But usually when the name of a piece pops into my head that's what it will be. We'll see.

I'm spending the next two nights at my old job to make a little extra money. I was a nanny for this family for 6 years and the younger child is graduating from high school next month. Crazy! When I first met her she was only ten. Eek! Anyways, it's great to see her, much more fun when I don't have to be here every day, and my main job is simply to be here as an adult presence. That's easy enough.

Yesterday, wrapping up the baby gift, I did a little crafty recycling project to get it ready to go. I used an old paper grocery bag and cut it up to make one big flat piece of craft paper. On the non printed side I used two different sizes of swirl stamps to decorate it. Then I wrapped up the gift in the printed paper, taped it up with some purty printed packing tape, and bingo-bango, a fun package ready to go to Colorado.

It reminded me of covering my school books with paper bags in high school. Man, I used to doodle all over those things! I read somewhere that some people don't buy wrapping paper, but just use craft paper that they decorate themselves. If you've got paper bags at home that just might be the way to go. I'm sure you could make something far prettier than what I created above. Hehe. Check out how great blueprint pages can look as wrapping paper!!

Time to wind down for sleeping. Night, night.

Spring Beauty

May 7th, 2008, Comments (0)

On a walk yesterday, I was so awed by the spring beauty that I had to pull out my cell phone and snap a couple shots. All my favorite flowering trees are in bloom. Dreamy purple lilacs with their intoxicating scent and my personal favorite, magnolia trees. My walk yesterday was such a joy. I put an audio book on my nano to bribe myself into a long walk and oh it was such a joyful time. Why do I resist that which makes me feel so good?

Today, I want to let go of that resisting and revel in the beauty and bliss that is everywhere.

Beep! Beep! Back Up!

May 5th, 2008, Comments (8)

This is a quick reminder to back up your files! My hard drive recently crashed. Boo! But fortunately I had everything important backed up. Yay! Thank goodness! I didn't have it done in a time capsule sort of way, so I've been uploading all sorts of stuff onto my clean slate of a laptop over the last two days. Not so much fun. But I did enjoy looking through old pictures as they got copied into my iphoto library. I need to re-install photoshop and dreamweaver, so no new photos today (instead, here's an old pic of y adorable snuggle cats, Emma and Sadie.) Hopefully, that'll be done soon.

I'm also so glad that I got Apple Care, as I've had to use my warranty twice this year. Along with my brand new hard drive came an updated system, which I wasn't expecting. There are some nifty new features on 10.5, although the hubster says that some of his software doesn't work with it, so far it's been good for me.

Tonight, dinner is on the grill...marinated chicken and fresh vedgies. Yum. And my icky migraine is just starting to move on. Another hooray!

Here's some inspiration to share:

• Over at Creative Construction there's a new weekly creativity contest. Each week a new prompt will be given and it can be interpreted however you like! And especially exciting for a bookworm like me, there's a weekly prize of a ten dollar Amazon gift card! Sweet! The first prompt is "View from the window" and entries are due tomorrow by midnight. I know that's coming up quick, so if you don't get something in this week, definitely try it out next go around!
• A new Creative Every Day Challenge member, Noel of Henna Rose, has some pictures of her gorgeous henna work. I so want to have this done! There was supposed to be a henna person at my bachelorette party, but she had to cancel. So one of these days, I'm going to have to go get it done. I think some lovely summer day might be nice.
• The talented Tammy Vitale won first place for her torso, "Cybele" at the Calvert Artists' Guild's May 08 Awards Show at AnnMarie Garden.
• I think everyone has heard of Twitter by now. Well, I decided to try it out and it is kind of fun! (Does this make me a twit?...Don't answer that. heh.) If you want to follow me, my name there is leahart. Now that I've tested it out a bit, I think I'll be adding my twitters to the blog. I'm working on an updated blog design, so I may wait til that's done. Speaking of a new design, if anything is confusing or weird or missing here on the blog, give me your feedback, so I can incorporate it into the updated version.

Creative Every Day: May 5th – May 11th, 2008

May 5th, 2008, Comments (11)

A Lovely Day to Share Some Inspiration

May 3rd, 2008, Comments (7)

Last night, I started working on a new painting. It's got some very soft and summery colors going on, reminds me of a bleached out Grecian scene, which I'm enjoying thoroughly. Paint is yummy.

I've been noting some lovely stuff going on amongst the Creative Every Day Challenge folks and thought I'd pass some of it along. Sometimes there's almost too much inspiration out there! On occasion, I need to pull myself away just so that I don't spend all day looking at inspiration and not do anything with it! Well, some days it's good to be a sponge. Sometimes you do need to soak things in, fill the well. And then some days are action days, where you need to wring yourself out and see what all the various experiences, conversations, books, quotes, blog posts, art, design, nature, food, dreams and synchronicities will become when you stir them all together and create. So, are you ready to soak up some inspiration? Good, let's go.

- Jim (a new CED member) has a delicious recipe for steamed artichokes that I'm going to make this week. Artichokes are so beautiful aren't they? Jim has also joined in the May sketchbook challenge. They have a blog for it here and the pages look awesome!

-Hanna of iHanna's Creative Space moderates this awesome flickr group all about art studios! How fun is it to peek into other people's spaces?! I have a wild fascination with seeing the interiors of other people's homes. I love looking at real estate sites to look at potential future houses, but I also just love looking at how people decorate.

-Wendy has posted a video tutorial on making your own stamps.

-Have you heard about the 100 mile diet?  Magical Muse is participating in a 100 feet diet challenge! She wrote about some of the things she's making at home (sounds yummy!) There's so much creative thinking going on with challenges like this. Very cool.

- Waltraud has made the loveliest little ipod bag for her daughter. I love the colors and fabric!

For me, this morning's creativity was expressed in a pancake sampler made with the hubster. We made plain, banana, and blueberry varieties. And oh, they were delicious. Hope your weekend is a wonderfully creative one!

Lady of the Lake

May 2nd, 2008, Comments (18)

So this is the painting I've been working on the last couple days. I believe it's done although I still need to paint the sides. I'm so happy with it though! It came straight from my intuition as I collaged, did transfers and painted. One thing led to another. The face came in because an image of birds I had transferred onto the canvas (using soft gel gloss medium) was in the shape of a face. I loved the idea of a face  made up of birds, so I went with that. As the painting progressed, I noticed that a bit of gel had taken the shape of a feather on the woman's arm, so I drew that in.

I love how her face was just there, wanting to be pulled out. I drew in two other birds at the end that matched the type of birds in her face. And from the beginning, I've been calling her "Lady of the Lake," so that will be her name. She's 18"x18" on gallery wrapped canvas with acrylic and collaged papers (that mostly got covered up.) As for what it means and where it was coming from, I'm not sure yet. These things bubble up from my subconscious. I do know that birds are messengers for me. But I like to also leave things open for others to interpret and find their own meaning there.

It was nice to work a little bigger again. It's been a while it seems. I've felt somewhat limited by my space, but since I've moved some things out and re-organized a bit, things have felt more conducive to working a little larger. Plus, I got a whole pile of canvases real cheap from an artist who was moving to France and unloading their studio. I really wanted the ikea flat file unit, but the canvases were a fantastic bonus and now I'm very glad to have them.

It got so chilly here this week! After a week of summer-like weather, it's a bit of a shock even though we knew that those warm temps couldn't last. Time for some tea with honey, me thinks.

p.s. Have you seen Christine Mason Miller's new book, Ordinary Sparkling Moments? You can get a sneak peek here (go to the book link at the top of the page) and pre-order it on her website. From what I've seen, it looks simply gorgeous. There are only going to be 200 copies made, so you might just want to reserve your copy straight away. Her book will be debuted at Squam Arts Workshops (which I'm so bummed I can't be at...stupid weddings!)

p.p.s. (or is it p.s.s?, I can't remember.) Thanks so much for the well wishes. I'm feeling much better today. Much less clogged and no dizziness to speak of. Hopefully it was a one time thing.

 

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