May 30th, 2008
It's all too easy to focus on the rejections in life and forget the successes. Why is that? Are we afraid of being considered a show off, too big for our britches, self-absorbed, annoyingly happy? It's funny the ways our egos will bring us down by saying things like: the higher you go the harder you'll fall, who do you think you are? It Reminds me of this wonderful quote:
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
I do think it's important to share when we're struggling sometimes, if only to release it and move on, I think it's equally important to share when we're soaring. In the past, I might have felt jealous when I read about the success of others, but I've learned along the way, that there truly is enough success out there for everyone. So here are my thoughts about re-thinking success. I'd love to hear yours!
How to Re-Think Success:
Define it: What does success mean? It's different for everyone and so it's important to define it for yourself. Keep a list of successes small and large that you want to attain in your life and check back on them periodically to see where you're at. Most importantly, when you do check something off that list, celebrate it! I know that I forget to do this quite often. I'll brush one success off as no big thing, automatically thinking on the next thing I haven't accomplished yet. But it's important to revel in your successes, no matter how small.
Re-Focus: At the end of the day, instead of focusing on what you didn't do, focus on what you did accomplish. Write it down! There's something oddly satisfying about writing your "already done" list. Instead of knocking yourself down for the things you didn't check off your to-do list and feeling crappy about it (and yourself), you can instead feel great about what you did do. It's so much easier to continue forward when you're focusing on your accomplishments. Beating yourself up, tends to lead to a vicious cycle of feeling bad, procrastinating, and then feeling worse. Don't go there. Feel great about what you do and keep growing!
Live it: You know that expression, "Fake it til you make it"? There is something to it. Acting as if you've already attained your goals is a powerful way to move into them. This falls into the "Law of Attraction" category I suppose. I haven't read "The Secret", but I've read about the topic of attraction in other places, like Martha Beck's Steering by Starlight and I've had my own experiences of it along the way. My feelings about it are a little hard to put words to, but what I have grasped is that when you can imagine that feeling you'd have if whatever goal or success you want has come true and then live in that frame of mind, wonderful things can happen. When you act from a place of love and success, success comes to you. When you act from a place of lack and desperation, that's what comes.
Celebrate it: It's wonderful to not only celebrate your own success, but also the success of others. When your friends have success, join them in celebrating. The good mojo and inspiration will soak into your skin and light you up. My friend Jessie is rocking and rolling with her new business and I'm so thrilled for her. And as a side benefit, her success gets me so excited about my own work!
Do it: There's something quite powerful about doing what you love. It shows. It inspires other people. Just by doing it, whatever it is, you are a success. There's a wonderful sense of accomplishment and self-respect that comes from working on those projects big and small that make you glow with joy. Celebrate that joy. Celebrate the success that you are. Let your own light shine.
In the interest of sharing success, one of my greatest joys is hearing from someone who has felt some sort of connection to my art. That happened yesterday when I sold a print of Betwixt and Between (above) from my etsy store and I got a super sweet message from the buyer about how she'd found my art and what it meant to her. What a wonderful treat that is. (And a good reminder to let sellers of art or other goods know why you purchased their products. It means a lot!)