For my Grandma
November 21st, 2009
I'm grieving the loss of my Grandma, who passed away this morning. She has had Alzheimer's for years now and no longer recognized anyone, but other than that she was quite healthy. She woke up this morning, put on her shoes and socks and then passed away, just like that.
In many ways, as my Grandpa said, it's a blessing. She wasn't in any pain and she's been living in a nursing home for the last year and didn't like it there.
I'm still so sad. Especially for my mom who has been doing so much care-taking of her and my Grandpa through everything. And I'm sad for the losing the woman she was, even though it sort of felt like I lost her a long time ago. And I'm just sad.
Yesterday, I was playing with paint while the inkblots dried and I this little angel appeared, halo and everything. And I didn't want to paint it. I've never really painted angels, except when it was for someone else, so I let it sit, figuring I'd come back with fresh eyes later on. But now I feel like it was for her, my Irish Catholic Grandma. I think she would have liked it, so I worked on it a bit more today, a pretty purple angel just for her. Love you, Grandma. You will be missed.
75 Responses
Leah
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. {{{{Hugs}}}} and good thoughts go out to you. Love that the angel is for your grandma… Lucy
Posted by: Lucy | Nov 21, 2009 at 3:54 pm |
Leah,
So sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother. Condolences to your whole family.
Yet, you continue to produce art. Really powerful art. So appreciate your inspiration in the face of life challenges, to keep making the marks on the paper.
And gift us all with a place to encourage us all to keep going. Many, many thanks to you.
Be gentle with yourself.
Posted by: Christine Martell | Nov 21, 2009 at 3:54 pm |
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jennifer Louden, Leah Piken Kolidas. Leah Piken Kolidas said: Day 21 of Art Every Day Month: For my Grandma, who passed away this morning. http://bit.ly/8p5llv #aedm [...]
Posted by: Tweets that mention For my Grandma | Creative Every Day — Topsy.com | Nov 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm |
Leah, My condolences to your family. Such a soft, lovely, lavender painting for a lovely person. ~ Tammy
Posted by: Tammy | Nov 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm |
thoughts are with you & your family today ((hugs))
Posted by: jill | Nov 21, 2009 at 3:58 pm |
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. Sending you lots of love!!! Your painting is a beautiful way to honor her spirit. Big hugs, my dear.
Posted by: Jennifer Lee | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:02 pm |
I’m so sorry about your grandma. Hugs to you.
kp
Posted by: Kathryn P. | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:22 pm |
What a lovely tribute to your Grandma. Alzheimer’s is such an insidious disease. My Mother -in-Law passed away from it several years ago. It was so hard to see a vibrant woman go downhill like that. My sympathies.
Posted by: Norma Schlager | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:22 pm |
oh, sweetie, i’m so sorry to hear of your loss. i’m glad she went peacefully. how lovely that you had that angel just waiting there…just like her angels were probably gently waiting for her. hugs. xo
Posted by: Marilyn | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:27 pm |
Empathy and hugs, Leah. My Grandma and your Grandma can meet up for some chocolate…
Sending support and love.
Posted by: Marissa | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:45 pm |
Leah, so sorry. No matter the situation, it’s still not easy when the finality of death occurs. All my love and condolences to you and your mom. Your angel is so beautiful and it can’t be a coincidence that your ink blot turned out like that. The universe is full of surprises.
Posted by: Susan Reep | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:47 pm |
I am very sorry to hear about your grandma, Leah. I can empathize with what you are going through, as my grandma was also in a care home for over a year, before she passed away. There is relief, mingled in with the grief…and that is natural. I hope through the tears, you will think of the good memories of her, and the influence she had on your life in the past, and hopefully that will sustain you in future days.
Posted by: Roberta | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:47 pm |
Oh Leah, I’m sorry.
Posted by: Lesley | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:49 pm |
i am so sorry for your loss Leah, what a special painting just for her…blessings
Posted by: elk | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:53 pm |
big big bear hugs to you darling girl… i adore and love you…
i’m wishing your grandma so many blessings on her rainbow journey…
and angels of love to surround you and your family
xoxoxoxoxo
Posted by: Goddess Leonie @ GoddessGuidebook.com | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:54 pm |
Dear Leah, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your Grandma sounds like she was a special person to you. My sincere sympathy to you and your family.
XOXO
Janet
Posted by: Janet | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:56 pm |
sorry for your loss, and your grandma would have loved your painting, it’s beautiful, the colours are lovely and so is the angel. (((hugs))
Posted by: alex | Nov 21, 2009 at 4:56 pm |
things come through at just the right time, just like with this angel for your grandma.
my blessings to you and your family, of course. art heals. you know that. your art family is here holding space for you while you grieve.
big hugs
sue
Posted by: Sue O’Kieffe | Nov 21, 2009 at 5:03 pm |
Leah, I’m sorry about your grandmother. I lost my 90-year-old grandmother a month ago yesterday. I now have one of her paintings hanging above my fire place, reminding me to keep creating. She is one of my inspirations for participating in AEDM and CED. Hugs!
Cheryl
Posted by: Cheryl | Nov 21, 2009 at 5:15 pm |
Leah – I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: Julie | Nov 21, 2009 at 5:17 pm |
I am so very sorry. My grandpa also had alzheimer’s for several years before he died. It was like loosing him twice. It has been 20 years, now. I think of him everyday and know he is right beside me in spirit. I am sure your grandmother is loving this picture and sending her love. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: susie | Nov 21, 2009 at 5:30 pm |
I’m sorry for your news. Best wishes to you and your family.
Posted by: Sam | Nov 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm |
So sorry about your grandma Leah. I love the purple angel you made for her, it’s lovely.
HUGS
Posted by: Lynn Crymble | Nov 21, 2009 at 5:46 pm |
Leah, I am so sad for you. Having been there myself, I now find delight that I see my grandma everywhere I go, and in all my art. Those we love become fused into our being so much so that they never really leave. (((hug)))
amanda
Posted by: amanda | Nov 21, 2009 at 6:57 pm |
I am sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Rennata | Nov 21, 2009 at 7:25 pm |
I am so sorry for your loss Leah, nothing can stop your love for your grandma my thoughts go out to you and your family.
Marilyn
Posted by: marilyn | Nov 21, 2009 at 7:47 pm |
I’m so sorry about your grandma. It’s never easy to lose someone, no matter how old they are or you are, or how ready they seem to be. The truth is, you miss them. And it can’t be helped. I still feel the presence of my two grandmas quite frequently and I bet that’s why you painted that beautiful angel today: you will probably always feel the presence of the grandma you knew and loved. Take comfort!
Posted by: Cindy | Nov 21, 2009 at 7:54 pm |
Sorry to hear of the passing of your grandma. My condolences to you and your family.
Posted by: Theresa | Nov 21, 2009 at 8:08 pm |
Leah, my condolences to you and your family.
Grandma’s angel is beautiful!
Posted by: geni | Nov 21, 2009 at 8:21 pm |
I’m very sorry about your loss. You’ve made a beautiful tribute to your grandmother.
Posted by: natalyn | Nov 21, 2009 at 8:27 pm |
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Irish Catholic gram a year and a half ago now and it still gets me at unexpected moments. She was so proud of me and let me know at every turn. I look at my son she never got to meet and think of all the ways she would have loved him so. Grandmas are amazing. Sharing some tears and so thankful you had her in your life and now as an angel. *hugs*
Posted by: Heather | Nov 21, 2009 at 9:00 pm |
sending you some blue healing light to help you with grief of loosing your gradma. I know there is nothing physical that l can do to help you but l am always hear to listen. as well as an art Therapist, l am a Breavement Counsellor. so if you need to talk, ask questions or just tell stories about her…type away.xlynda
Posted by: lynda howells | Nov 21, 2009 at 9:27 pm |
Leah, i am sorry and sad to hear about your Grandma. Sending you wishes for peace and comfort.
Posted by: manuela | Nov 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm |
I’m sorry for your family (I lived exactly the same loss a few months ago, she also had Alzeihmer and died of a cardiac attack after a joyful smily morning).
Hugs
Posted by: Nolwenn | Nov 21, 2009 at 9:39 pm |
Yes, a very pretty purple angel… so sorry to hear of your loss. Warmest wishes to you and your family at this time. x x
Posted by: Esther | Nov 21, 2009 at 10:10 pm |
It is hard to lose a Grandmother. They can often be our biggest supporters. They love everything we do. Your painting is graceful. Sorry for you loss.
Posted by: Marcy at Sunflower Design | Nov 21, 2009 at 10:54 pm |
thinking of you leah and sending you love. XO, melba
Posted by: melba | Nov 21, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
Oh, I’m so very sorry for your loss.
What a nice way to honor your grandmother. I esp. like the glow of the tree.
My thoughts are with you.
Posted by: amateur-in-art | Nov 21, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
So sorry to hear about your loss – sending positive thoughts and prayers your way – your angel is very fitting and comforting. Take care of yourself and your family.
Posted by: tami | Nov 21, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
No matter how old or no matter the circumstances, it’s always hard to lose a close family member. Since she was your Irish grandmother, I imagine she was quite a spirited lady. And now you’ve captured her spirit so beautifully. If it’s ok, I’d like to send Reiki blessings to you, your mom, and your grandpa.
Thanks so much for sharing this.
Posted by: Kathy Jordan | Nov 21, 2009 at 11:11 pm |
i felt how much you loved her in the paint
Posted by: lilas | Nov 21, 2009 at 11:28 pm |
hello leah, I am sorry for your loss and thought I would come by to say it is a blessing she passed as she did. my father also passed away from this terrible disease and he suffered with it for 12 years, all the way til he could do nothing, like breathe or move … it was hell on my mother and something that hardly ever happens, that it goes on so long, but it does … so that she died this way, so quickly and peacefully is actually wonderful for her and all that love her and your painting is definitely her, is my feeling…how could it be anyone else? ♥
Posted by: linda | Nov 21, 2009 at 11:36 pm |
Thank you for sharing something so beautiful while you are grieving. My prayers are with you.
Posted by: Young Creative | Nov 21, 2009 at 11:59 pm |
I am sad for your loss of your Grandma,I’m sure she will be missed greatly.What a great idea to honor her with a beautiful painting.
Posted by: Tammy | Nov 22, 2009 at 1:25 am |
Oh Leah,
So sorry to hear this news.
Your artwork is gentle and touching.
Prayers for you and your family.
Posted by: Carmen | Nov 22, 2009 at 1:33 am |
Love YOU.
Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Claire | Nov 22, 2009 at 1:41 am |
This is a beautiful homage to a wonderful woman. Love to you.
Posted by: Kathryn | Nov 22, 2009 at 2:12 am |
Dear Leah,
So sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandma! It’s a blessing that she died peacefully and without any pain but it’s still so sad when we lose someone that we love. I’m sure that she is smiling down on you and the little angel that you created in her honor.
Big hugs,
Chris
Posted by: Chris Zydel | Nov 22, 2009 at 4:58 am |
oh thats such sad news. I hope you find that your art will help you through the grieving process, and that you are able to find peace with her passing. Take extra special care of your self and your family in these times. xxx
Posted by: messyfish | Nov 22, 2009 at 9:39 am |
I´m so sorry for your loss. {hugs} My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: Paula – Buenos Aires | Nov 22, 2009 at 9:49 am |
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I miss my grandmother very much and think of her often. I have a lot of her jewelry and each time I wear a piece, I feel a connection to her spirit. She was a sassy woman but she sure loved her grandchildren.
Take care of yourself and I know she is feeling the love through the birth of your creation.
Sheri
Posted by: Sheri | Nov 22, 2009 at 11:45 am |
I’m sending big, warm, soul hugs! Your painting is beautiful. Your grandmother is smiling on you right now.
Posted by: Kathryn – Collage Diva | Nov 22, 2009 at 11:50 am |
I’m so sorry Leah, my you be surrounded by angels during this sad time.
Posted by: Julie | Nov 22, 2009 at 1:08 pm |
So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful image you’ve created for her!
Posted by: Jul | Nov 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm |
I’m really sorry for your loss, dear. I also lost someone this year for Alzheimer and I know how hard it is.
*hugs*
Posted by: Sweet-Lemmon | Nov 22, 2009 at 2:19 pm |
Peace.
Posted by: Rebecca Stees | Nov 22, 2009 at 4:04 pm |
I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandma.
What a loving, beautiful tribute to her.
Take care of yourself. Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: Bev Baird | Nov 22, 2009 at 5:26 pm |
so sorry for your loss…..
Posted by: marina | Nov 22, 2009 at 6:41 pm |
Leah,
My condolences to you in the bereavement of your grandmother, but at the same time in happiness of her living and her departure in such a peaceful and accepting manner. Your painting speaks volumes and it shows the journey of life in re-connecting with the whole. Beautifully represented. I feel it is the connection between you and your grandmother, and her light in showing you the path of the whole.
Posted by: Ana | Nov 22, 2009 at 7:30 pm |
My thoughts are with you. I lost a grandma who’d suffered from Alzheimers too, and suddenly when she was gone, the woman I lost was not the one she’d been in recent years, but the one I remembered from before.
Posted by: Heather Plett | Nov 22, 2009 at 8:08 pm |
Leah,
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. This piece is a lovely tribute. Take care.
Posted by: Sandy/Creations by Coleman | Nov 22, 2009 at 8:11 pm |
So sorry for the loss of your Grandma…. and your Grandfathers loss…. Grandma’s are special people and hold special memeories in your heart. Remember her with a smile in you heart…
Posted by: Karen | Nov 22, 2009 at 9:48 pm |
I am so sorry for your loss. My grandpa also had Alzheimers. Big hugs to you and the rest of your family.
Posted by: Claudine Intner | Nov 22, 2009 at 11:33 pm |
Leah I am so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. The angel is great. Maybe her way of letting you know she is OK. Love Hugs and Blessings for you and your family.
Posted by: Ninnie | Nov 22, 2009 at 11:35 pm |
What a lovely memorial!
My father also passed away yesterday morning at the age of 91.
I’m noticing how many people are experiencing or have experienced such loss.
Blessings to you.
Posted by: Lynne Tolk | Nov 22, 2009 at 11:53 pm |
so very sorry Leah. my thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by: laura duldner | Nov 23, 2009 at 1:23 am |
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandma. I’m thinking of you and your family and wishing all of you peace.
Posted by: Staz | Nov 23, 2009 at 2:02 am |
I know that feeling of not wanting to create something that specifically stands there, begging to be created. Brava to you for having the courage to create this little angel, anyway.
Prayers, continually.
Posted by: Julie Jordan Scott | Nov 23, 2009 at 9:27 am |
I know how deeply special our relationships are with our grandmothers… your beautiful painting will a touchstone for you. Peace and blessings to you.
Posted by: Expressive Hart | Nov 23, 2009 at 2:39 pm |
i am so sorry for you loss, thinking of you and sending you much love and peace.
Posted by: darlene | Nov 23, 2009 at 3:01 pm |
[...] Day Month. Even in grief she allowed her Muse to speak and lead her to make a beautiful piece of art honoring her grandmother. I admire her ability to keep herself open and pour her emotions onto the [...]
Posted by: Flowers for Leah « Creations by Coleman | Nov 24, 2009 at 10:14 am |
Sorry to hear about your Grandma. I know I may go
through the same thing very soon as my Grandma seems
to be heading the same way. She will have her memory
back now and I know that she will look fondly upon your
art in her honor (the angel)
Posted by: amy | Nov 24, 2009 at 11:56 am |
I’ve been offline and sick this past week and seems I’ve missed so much. I am so sorry for your loss. Even if she had Alzheimer’s, losing her completely is a dramatic event. It is sometimes mind boggling how events happen so unexpectedly…seemingly so quick, it’s scary. It really makes you want to squeeze all the life out of every single moment and never waste! Wishing you and your family peace. Take care.
Posted by: linda | Nov 27, 2009 at 8:03 pm |
I’m very behind on my blog reading, & just read this post, Leah. I’m so, so sorry to hear about your Grandma. I’m sending good thoughts to you & your family during this time.
Posted by: Michelle | When I Grow Up Coach | Dec 8, 2009 at 6:02 pm |
I am sorry for your loss! Losing a dear one is never easy even though they have Alzheimer. When they pas away it is final and all one have left is the memory of who they where…
EWian
Posted by: EWian | Dec 19, 2009 at 7:13 am |