Life Goes On

July 2nd, 2010

Happy July, everyone! I've been feeling a little shadowy lately, hence the picture above. But I'm also in motion. I've been jogging my little heart out (the picture was taken after one of these jaunts) and it's really helped the healing along. Bit by bit.

I'd been making attempts at drawing and painting last month, but truth be told, my heart just wasn't in it. So I opted to let it rest for awhile until I felt the urge to return. On Wednesday night, I was speaking with some friends on the phone and I started to doodle and draw. Oh, sweet relief! I hadn't even been doodling lately and that's my old stand-by, so it felt so good to want to draw. The drawing and doodling continued yesterday and today I plan to continue to gently return to playing with my art supplies and just enjoying the process.

It's a new thing for me, I think. Really processing something painful instead of just stuffing it away. It's longer and slower than I might like it to be, but I believe in the long run, it is healthier and smarter to feel what I'm feeling. I'm not wallowing, I'm still finding the brightness and joy in the little stuff, but I'm also allowing myself to feel sad if I feel sad. Sadness seems to move through much quicker when I don't try to push it away. And that's how I'll continue to live my life this month. How about you? Are you adept at accepting the shadowy parts of your life?

11 Responses

Oh wow, what a subject! I think our first reactions are always to avoid painful thoughts and scary emotions. But I think you are right that it’s just delaying the inevitable. You have to work through, deal…work out… however you want to put it – all your issues. Whether it takes a long time or short concentrated time – it just depends on that period of our lives. Rest assured that you will feel so much better to allow yourself to work out sad issues and thoughts. To me, it’s like pressure-full when you have things bottled up inside. You have to release…otherwise you are just bloated through life – sounds bad, huh? Wish you all the best :)

Hi Leah,

I completely agree with you, just let that sadness be, it needs time to just be there with you. Feeling the shadows of life is all a big part of it. We all have our shadow moments and I too believe that stepping into the light too quickly is just no good, the shadows move slowly at their own pace around and then the light will seep back….anyway,
I really like checking out your blog and I hope things will get brighter for you, but hey a healing tome is needed at times in life and it’s healthy to embrace that!

I think you are brave for being so honest!

We all go through the shadows sometimes–it’s just part of life, isn’t it? I just went through a down period when everything seemed to be going wrong, and found crying and talking to a close friend really helped me process some pain and disappointment. Wishing you lots of strength to help you cope and heal. Hugs!!

Great post. Out of darkness comes the light. From some embarrassment issues, I have often felt a sense of shame from the anger too, when my heart was hurting and I wasn’t the cause of the pain. This adds to the negativity, however, I needed to face the pain, live and breath it, look at my whole life, find my heart and soul beneath all of it, underneath the pain was a little baby me. From our pain we can be reborn with the wings of a butterfly to be poetic.

As my son-in-law starts his chemo and radiation for a tumor on his brain, I can sincerely relate to the shadows of life but in the support of family and friends we all have found such light and life…even in these scary times. We have to face it all. There is no way around it so it good to know that as we go through life’s trials that we are supported by those who love us. I’m glad that you are not bottling it up Leah. That’s a growing moment and healing. My best to you. xo

Hubby, my kids, friends.

As with art it’s appreciating shadows for the contrast they bring both in life and on paper. Glad to hear you’re finding comfort in your drawing. Have a great holiday weekend.

I am starting to really “see” the shadowy sides of myself, but I am reluctant to admit them to my close family and friends…hmmmm…but I am beginning to admit that they are here…to myself (and my shadow).

What a poignant post. I relate to it on so many levels.

Wow Leah, it’s been ages since I’ve been to your blog and I love the new look.

I’m not so great at dealing with the shadowy parts… I like to shove them away, pretend they aren’t there, and do something else… working on improving, but it’s a slow process.

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