Fears

March 6th, 2007

I've been noticing a lot of talk about fears as I pop around the FW group lately. Fears about failure, overcoming fears, struggling with fear. There are ways that I know how to tackle my fears and that usually involves finding a way to get started (which for me is the hardest part) and then there are some other fears that I'm not quite sure what to do with, except to just face them head on even when I want to run in the other direction.

I have an art opening tonight, three pieces of art in a bigger show of women artists celebrating Women's History Month. It's in a gallery at a college in the city, a cool space, it's exciting. I haven't told all my friends and family about it and I'm not sure why. I did tell some people, some people will be coming, which is very nice. I feel anxious about it. I really don't like art openings, which is unfortunate, as I do like to get my art "out there" for people to see. It's like I want to put it up and then run in the other direction.

It's not that I'm extremely shy. I'll introduce myself to people fairly easily, I'll talk to almost anyone. But put my art in the room and I want to hide in the corner. I don't like to talk about my art, I'm not eloquent when I have to explain what it's about, I feel embarrased and ashamed, I imagine that people are thinking the worst possible things about it. It's silly, I know. Most people aren't going to be standing around talking trash about my art, but this is the stuff that pops into my head. It's very uncomfortable. Ugh.

I need to re-frame this, see it as a possibility for fun, for meeting other artist's, for networking, for receiving support from the friends who come out, for seeing other great art, for practicing at being a business woman. And then later, I can take my introverted self home, give myself a pat on the back and then curl into the couch with my fuzzy kitties and some soft, warm jammies. Why does it have to be so frickin cold and windy tonight. Gah!

13 Responses

Wishing you well and beaming courage at you!

xxx

Good for you, Leah! SO happy for you! Looking forward to reading about how it went. I was convinced that it would be far easier to have a GYNO appointment in public than show my artwork to anyone. COURAGE is Fear that has said its PRAYERS. Peace.

I think you are already reframing it, just by writing this. I wish I could be at the opening to give you a big hug and tell you how incredible you are! And enjoy those soft snuggly pjs and kitties when you get home. I think it’s cool that you’ve put words to these fears. Funny how simply acknowledging something can sometimes help to ease the discomfort of it.

Congratulations Leah! If your work wasn’t any good, it wouldn’t be hanging in a gallery right now. Have a fabulous night, my dear. :)
luv,
j.

Wow! I know exactly what you mean about wanting to hide in the corner at your art shows. I am a trained classical musiciam and although I thrived at performing and making music, I realized how highly personal it was for me when I began teaching. It came from a part of me that was so authentic that it was hard to put “me” out there to the masses.
Good Luck with the show!

Like Julia said, we love and feel comfortable while creating our art, but when it comes time to put it out there for everyone to see…yikes! Well good for you…you did it…you put your stuff out there for all to see and that is GREAT! Tell us how it went.

I totally understand. I love to write and I love getting my stuff read via my blog. But as soon as someone says anything about it or drawn attention to it, I want to say a quick thank you and change the subject. Arck! Good for you for this stretch! K

yes, talking about it is a start. and most people who come to see our art are kinder about it than we are to ourselves.
this outcome-attachment is something i’ve been trying to work on; not being super attached to how a peice turns out, what people say about it, what i will think of it when i see it day after tomorrow, etc.
p.s. i LOVE your blog header:)

Oh gosh do I identify with this post – I’m still working on this after over 20 years of showing my work. It’s gotten easier, but it’s still not as easy as I’d like. Sending you ((hugs)) Leah – your art is great – and I think if they’re talking about your art, I’m sure it’s complimenting it!

Right there with you on that one. I think you have the answer on how to ‘reframe’ it already, so doubly WELL DONE! You made the paintings (well done), got accepted for an exhibition in a good venue (another well done) and you are going to the preview evening (extra, extra well done) and have found ways to look at it all in a positive light (amazingly extra well done).

All wonderful, wonderful stuff. Go Girl! You should be immensely proud of yourself. Hope you had a wonderful evening, E

i’m very excited for you. you are a beautiful person who creates beautiful art. your soul is on the page of everything you do. thank you for sharing it with others! let yourself enjoy the night!

Your art is so incredible…and I think it is so exciting that you are putting it out there! :) Have an amazing time. I think once you walk into the room, the rest is gravy!

well, I’m late reading this and see the next post you made it through just fine – but Leah! openings are the best! People who come to openings are ready to love you and your work (and what’s not to love?!). They are excited because they get to meet a *real artist.* You’re a star to them! Some of them want to be just like you – and you of all people in this world are the one who can open a space for them to see that! Just by being you! Openings are the FUN part! I always play dressup for openings. Always!

Congratulations on your opening! How exciting. I hope that you found fun and joy there. (I’m a bit behind in reading so in the next post I might find out if you did, hehe). I can understand the trepidation. The very first show I directed, I sat in the audience on opening night and thought, “What am I doing here?” I just wanted to be outside or backstage or in the booth instead of sitting with the audience and viscerally feeling their response. Yowzers!

I hope it went well and that you feel great. Your work is so beautiful. I’m glad you’re sharing it with the world.

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